Sitting With Your Emotions
What It Really Means And How To Do It
You’ve probably heard the phrase “sit with your emotions” before—maybe from a therapist, a self-help book, or a well-meaning friend. But what does that actually mean? And more importantly, how do you do it?
For many, the idea of sitting with emotions can feel uncomfortable, even overwhelming. When big feelings come up, the instinct is often to push them away, distract ourselves, or try to “fix” them immediately. But emotions, even the difficult ones, have a purpose. They tell us something important about our needs, our boundaries, and our experiences. Learning to sit with them—rather than fight or ignore them—can help us understand ourselves in a deeper, more compassionate way.
Recognizing What You’re Feeling
The first step in sitting with an emotion is recognizing that it’s there. This sounds simple, but when emotions feel intense, they can be hard to pinpoint. We might experience what’s known as “emotional flooding,” where everything feels tangled together—anger mixed with sadness, frustration layered over fear. Taking a moment to pause and ask, What am I feeling right now? can help bring some clarity. Tools like the Feelings Wheel can be really helpful when trying to pinpoint your emotions.
It can also be helpful to check in with your body. Emotions don’t just live in our thoughts—they show up physically, too. Maybe your chest feels tight with anxiety, your shoulders tense with stress, or your stomach sinks with disappointment. Noticing these sensations can provide another clue about what’s going on internally.
Making Space for the Emotion
Once you’ve identified what you’re feeling, the next step is allowing it to be there without immediately trying to change it. This doesn’t mean dwelling in it endlessly, but rather, acknowledging its presence with curiosity instead of judgment.
Try asking yourself: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Maybe sadness is pointing to a deeper need for connection. Maybe anger is highlighting a boundary that’s been crossed. Maybe anxiety is signaling uncertainty about something important to you. Emotions are messengers, and when we listen, we can learn what they need from us.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique can help you reconnect with the present moment to reduce anxiety.
Responding with Compassion
After identifying and sitting with an emotion, the next step is to respond in a way that supports your well-being. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? The answer will be different depending on the emotion and situation.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might need to ground yourself—taking deep breaths, stepping outside, or engaging in a soothing activity. Take a look at some different Grounding Techniques that may work for you.
If you’re feeling lonely, you might need connection—reaching out to a friend or offering yourself kind words.
If you’re feeling frustrated, you might need an outlet—journaling, moving your body, or expressing your emotions creatively.
Taking even a small step to meet your needs can help the emotion feel more manageable. The goal isn’t to make it disappear instantly, but to give it space to move through you in a way that feels supportive and healing.
The Power of Sitting With It
Sitting with your emotions doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or figure everything out right away. It’s about creating room for what you feel, offering yourself understanding, and responding with care. Over time, this practice can help emotions feel less overwhelming and more like valuable guides rather than something to fear or suppress.
So the next time you find yourself in the middle of a strong emotion, take a breath. Name it. Notice where it lives in your body. Ask what it needs. And remind yourself—it’s okay to feel. You don’t have to fix it all at once. You just have to sit with it, and trust that in doing so, you’re taking care of yourself in the best way possible.
