Learn to Process Your Emotions: A 6-Step Guide
Let’s Talk About “Sitting With” Your Emotions
Ever feel overwhelmed by your emotions and not sure how to handle them? “Sitting with” your feelings might sound a bit daunting, but it’s a powerful way to understand and manage what you’re going through. Here’s a simple guide to get you started:
What am I feeling? Start by naming the emotion.
How strong is this feeling? Check in on how intense it is.
Where am I feeling it in my body? Notice any physical sensations.
What is this feeling telling me? Reflect on what the emotion is trying to say.
What do I need right now? Think about what might help you feel better.
What small step can I take to meet my need? Take one small action to address it.
Using these steps can make emotions feel less overwhelming and help you respond to them in a positive way. Check out the graphic below for a visual guide to this process!
Remember, it’s okay to sit with your emotions and take the time you need to understand them. It’s all part of taking care of yourself!
For those of you who have been to therapy, “sitting with” your emotions might sound familiar. I use this term often, but recently I realized that simply telling someone to “sit with it” can be vague and even unhelpful. So, I’ve been working to model what this looks like and explain how it feels in a way that’s truly useful.
Understanding how to sit with an emotion requires some emotional awareness. We need to identify the emotion to actually sit with it, right? When we experience what’s known as "emotional flooding," it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what we're feeling. Am I angry, sad, afraid, nervous? It’s helpful to take a moment to slow down and figure out what the primary emotion is at that moment.
Once we identify the emotion, we need to assess its intensity. Sometimes emotions can hit us like a tidal wave, but that doesn’t always mean the emotion is as strong as it feels in the moment. The intensity might not always match how we're really feeling after we’ve had a chance to reflect. If the emotion feels very intense, it's important to pay attention because it signals that something significant is happening.
Our emotions also manifest physically. When our brains are overwhelmed, our bodies often react, too. Maybe you feel your face flush with embarrassment, clench your jaw with anger, or notice an accelerated heart rate with fear. Just like I mentioned in my last post, our brains and bodies are deeply connected, so understanding what's happening in your body can help you grasp what you're feeling emotionally.
Next, focus on the message behind the emotion. If you’re feeling sadness, ask yourself why. What’s triggering this response? Is there a recurring thought, like “I’ll never be good enough” or “They probably think I’m stupid”? Or maybe the emotion is signaling a need, such as a need for safety if you’re feeling fear.
Now, consider what you need right now. Do you need a quiet space to process? Do you need to calm your nervous system with deep breathing? Or perhaps you need some comfort, like a hug or a cozy blanket? Identifying your needs in the moment can give you a clear task to focus on, helping to manage that overwhelming feeling.
Once you know what you need, take a small step towards addressing it. This might not instantly fix everything, but taking even a small action can make your emotions feel more manageable. Then you can continue this process as needed until you start feeling more like yourself.
By “sitting with” your emotions, you’re giving yourself the space to understand and manage them better. It’s all part of taking care of yourself and moving towards a more balanced emotional state.
